2010: In Memoriam

The caption might remind some of the Alfred, Lord Tennyson poem by a similar name. One of the most quoted stanzas from the poem was also one of the many highlights for my year that was. This stanza is:-

I hold it true, whate'er befall;

I feel it when I sorrow most;

'Tis better to have loved and lost

Than never to have loved at all.

But, 2010, as I look at you in retrospective perspective, there is so much that you have shown me, given me, taken away from me, and taught me; I have learnt, grown and evolved through the passage of your time, and there is so much to thank you for that it would only be fair to give some sort of a structure to this post. Hence, in stead of ungratefully dividing you into smaller time-lines, I shall try and divide my experiences into sub-heads.
I also must confess that this division idea is hardly my own. I am inspired by a similar (but a lot shorter!) self-appraisal attempted on Facebook by a much respected school senior, Ashish Singh. These sub-heads are as under:-

1. Work and Professional Development
2. Relationships and Personal Development
3. Travel
4. Family and Friends (distinguished from Relationships)
5. Work-Life Balance
   
6. Health

Without much more ado, I launch into my descriptive memories...

1. Work and Professional Development: Graduated from MDI Gurgaon, had the 2nd Convocation of my life, attended my first. The hat throwing was awesome. Got placed for the third time, started full-time work for the first time. Went to Mumbai for the second time, spent three good months there as part of the Management Trainee Program 'Axis Ahead' conducted by my employer Axis Bank. Post this, I came back closer home to New Delhi, and took up a position here. Also, the first salary was an amazing experience.

Post the training, I had a more glamorous option available, but opted for a more earthy beginning to my career, since I wanted the start to bear tangible, quantifiable results. Here is hoping that my faith shall stand vindicated. Work's mostly been good and there has been a reasonably steep learning curve. 2011 holds promise.


My Rating: 4/5


2. Relationships and Personal Development: The year stared painfully when I took the first 3 and a half months to finally let go of a relationship. We're still great friends and I count that as a major life accomplishment. I must acknowledge the generous and no strings attached love and support from my parents. Thank you Ma and Dad. You're rock stars.
Moving on hurts, but is necessary at times. Might sound remarkably quick, but in due course, I proposed to somebody else, and got rejected. Ouch. But, I'm not giving up on hope any time soon.

I grew with several life experiences, both personal and vicarious. Read some excellent books, watched some good cinema and theater, engaged in (non-competitive) sport. Taught somebody how to swim. Mostly had a fun time. Probably touched a few lives, and tried to make a few people happier in the process, and I hope that that counts.

Overall, not the best of times in the relationships scheme of things, but grew as a person whilst learning and getting back up from the somewhat harsh falls that I took.

My Rating: 3/5



3. Travel: Continuing from the 2009 theme (when I did some significant travel in Europe), I would say I am overall satisfied with my roaming around this year. Post placements, I set out with a bunch of my closest friends on a spiritual sojourn to the Mata Vaishno Devi shrine in Jammu. That trip was good.

Further on, April saw me headed out to yet another holy journey to the 'Kumbh' in Haridwar, Uttarakhand. This time, I facilitated the Kumbh snan (a dip in the revered Ganges at the bathing ghats at Haridwar) for three generations (grandparents, parents and some of my own).

Second week of May had me and the earlier mentioned bunch out again to Nainital, Kosani, and Mukteshwar. The standard boat riding and sightseeing in Nainital, the equisitely beautiful sunrise in Kosani, and adventure sports in Mukteshwar were a few of the highlights. Also the time there gave me some of my most beautiful personal moments for the year. I shall not forget that trip anytime soon.

Fourth week of May was time for a family trip to the North East. Shillong, Guwahati, and Cherrapunjee are wonderful places with outstanding weather. Yes, it rained a lot. We had some quality family time, and enjoyed some great hospitality, food, and sightseeing.

Then, work led me to Mumbai where I was for close to three months with a 3 week stint in Delhi in between. I was there during the famed monsoons, and allegedly the best time to be there. Besides the splendid stay at Fariyas (tad small swimming pool) and the brilliant theater circuit (Prithvi and Tata Theater), June-September was time for catching up with old friends, and generally making merry.

Oh does running the Half Marathon count as travel? I guess not! So please wait, and you shall find your due later on.

My Rating: 5/5



4. Family and Friends: Latest news first. My elder brother found a job from his B-School campus. To me, that signifies culmination of years of arduous struggle against both fate and the skeptics, for a hopefully much brighter time ahead. Here's to you, Bhaiya!

Otherwise, the family stayed close and had some very good times together.

The Best Friend got engaged and is scheduled to be married on February the 27th, 2011. Come hell or high water, I shall be there Puja Satsangi!

I got a chance to share (I dislike 'spend') reasonable amount of time with the people who really matter and was rewarded with some cherished memories by 2010.

Oh, and in June, I crossed a 1,000 'friends' on Facebook. Plus, over 500 connections on Linkedin. With popularity like that, and a network that strong, I think I may just be the CXO of a mid-sized firm within the next 10 years! Yes, that is a joke. At my own expense.

My Rating: 4/5


5. Work-Life Balance: It's only been 6 and a half months of full-time work so far. So far, I can't complain much, though one would always like more time for their lives. I was recently telling a close friend "You work so that you can get a life!". Work giving meaning to life is another line of thought. I have been able to make out time for doing things that I had in mind before I started work. I have been able to take a vacation with the family, I have been able to read, write (though not as much as I would like), watch theater and cinema, listen to music, take care of my health, party and socialize. But I still insist that working on Saturdays is not funny.

My Rating: 4/5





6. Health: I swear I shall become a lot more regular with my gymming routine next year. Serious! Okay, so 2010 saw the occasional bursts of health consciousness with some time being taken for Pranayam and meditation, and at other times, my feeling really important about pumping iron at least thrice a week. The intent was there, regular action wasn't. The Airtel Delhi Half Marathon was very satisfying experience though. I finished 20.097 kilometers in a net time of 2 hours and 42 minutes. At least, my Grandfather was really proud. And it got me a medal too!

I am grateful for being quite fit for the most part, I realize that the time for being more proactive on the health front should be at least 5 years before you turn 30. That means now!
2011 will see me focusing a lot more on my physical well-being by regular work-outs, Pranayam, and (mostly) healthy food. The health people at the Marathon did a few check-ups and told me that I was in top-shape. I plan to run again in 2011, and improve on my time this year.

My Rating: 3/5

A Mid-Winter Night Musing: Part 1

At about 2 am last night, I shut down my laptop after going through a few photos and stuff from my Exchange Program in Paris and the rest of Europe from last year. Some thoughts came to me, and I started putting them down on my cell phone.

I started out writing for myself, and ended up forwarding the following text as a long sms to my family and some of my closest friends:-

"Was just going through some of my Exchange Photos, videos and stuff.

And then, a few scenes of note from childhood onwards started flashing by.

Having seen a fair share of ups and downs, academic and life
experiences, met so many people, traveled to so many different places,
eaten so much food, heard and read people and thinkers of note, been
through and enjoyed some glorious music, dance, theater,sport and
cinema, been influenced by so many personalities,having influenced a
few people to change their life outlook, and made and lost so many
friends...

A strange sort of melancholy hits me this wintry night. What remains
of all of that? What was the purpose of all of that? Why do people do
things the way they do? Why do people love and why do people hate? And
in so many different ways?
What remains of our thoughts, words, emotions, and tears: of joy and despair?

What is my purpose? Why do I live? I have evolved and helped people
through their evolution, but Have I grown up yet?

Is love the ultimate truth? Or knowledge? Or just money? Peace?"

---
After reading that mid winter night's text, I have had some interesting reactions and consequences.

1. A good friend called up at about 2:40 am, probably to enquire if I had already succeeded in completing my suicide or was still on my way.

2. Dad sent an early morning long text. Love what he writes for two reasons:-

1) He writes rather well with solid and powerful logic.
2) He is my Dad.

I have earlier written several letters to him and have been rewarded with profound wisdom and love in his replies. Some of the content from these letters found it's way in the Recruitment Applications at my alma mater: MDI, Gurgaon.

3. Another good friend pinged at about 2:45 (I was offline), probably for similar reasons as the friend in #1. Also, he owed me some money.

4. My Room mate woke up because of the 7 new messages tringing up his inbox (The message was the same as the one above, I had sent it to him). He cussed at me, and went back to sleep. Serves me right.

5. There was another email and text from close friends waiting for me when I woke up.
If I were you, I would not read this post beyond the full stop of this sentence, it's just way too long, okay next sentence. Therefore, that email and my response to it will form the next post.

6. I have finally started writing again. Some of this will go to my blog. I know nobody reads it. Not even I do. But they should.